Mona to Bharti

That is how i can sum up my b'day this year. Mona is my cousin. She was the first caller to wish me b'day. Although ted had wished me earlier on 23rd by mail. IBut right now i am just writing this because i liked the title when i came to my mind.

After that got several calls. And last caller on 24th night was Bharti. She said that it had to be either the first one or the last one. Agreed. :)

Thanks to all who wished me. May God fulfill everyones good wishes. Amen

2 post a day, keeps blog readers away

Title is among the best poetry i have ever written. See, it rhymes.

But that not what this is post is about.

There are two philosophies i have:
1) I can ask God for whatever and how much ever i want. Ofcourse he is like my dad, who won't give me everything i ask. But if i ask more probability of getting it increases.

2) I should never ask God for anything. God can give everything, because he created everything, BUT. Whats the use asking for things that ultimately i have to leave and go after my death. Ofcourse he is my dad and he will give me everything i need(not everything i want).

And you know what. right now i want to make a wish. actually i have wanted to ask him that wish nearly daily. But till date i have been confused about which philosophies should i rely upon.
Request to the reader. Please decide which philosophy applies for you. If first one does then ask him to fulfill my wish. If yours in second one, then for this moment shift your philosophy to the first and ask him to fulfill my wishing. Kidding again. You don't have shift your philosophy for my wish. probably according to you, some day i will be wise and will realize that nothing matters. Nothing at all. And the only thing that matters(God), i would not have given a thought.

Its beginning. That physo thing which get better of me like the 1st nov. post. so i am leaving before i turn this post into a crap. Its crap but that mood of mine will make it crappier.

I am a life

Yes.. title means that i am still alive :P

But this post is not about me. But about how i feel about a few others.

Ted : A very nice guy. A very good person to have as a friend. He dosen't forget things, so i am rest assured he won't forget me. Now, coming to the more important part: answer to the question "why is he being mentioned here?" So, the answer is that is also my best friend. Thats why. Ted, I love you.

Vinit : Another gem. Can talk anyone out of his words. Best Friend. I know that their might be a day when i might not be on his side, but it won't happen otherwise. Vinit, I love you too.

Bazooka : I don't even remember his real name. May not be among my best friends list but for sure he deserves a mention. Why? Because he, i feel, is among those who feel for their friends. Really. Kind at heart. Nice guy to be friends with. Bazooka, I love you three.

Tarzan (suranjan) : Another gem. Why should i mention him here? Because he has all the qualities a person requires to find a mention in each of his frineds blog. I love you four.

Dufu (mayank) : Junior but a friend. Strong. Tall. Among the guys i would like to be. Dufu, I love you five.

Pandu Sir : Friend , philosopher , guide. Do i need to say more. He is one person i really look up to. He find the mention because of the clarity he has in philosophies he tells. I will always remember time i spent with him. Although i fear him but still, Sir, I love you six.

Deepankar (babu) : Another childhood friend. Friend, and a bengali. His sermons. His laughs. Hearty laughs. The chats we had. Long ones. Below the porch of his home. And his long walks. Babu, I love you seven.

Amit Nigam : Another guy i don't understand. But he does understand me. This man considers me to be one great guy. I know the reason why : he hasn't met the people i have mentioned above. I can credit him for my selection in IIT. Good guy. Would like to hear from him more often. Amit, I love you eight.

Vinitha Nair( billi) : This girl deserves a mention. And a very well deserved one. This gal has a good sense of humor and her spirit. The undying spirit to live it up. And her consistent good morning mails. I love you nine.

Bharti : Sweet. She is sweety. Yep that her nick back home. And a very apt one. Ofcourse, i am brahmin and like sweets. For her things are different. He philosophy: 'She will love you till she lives, not till you live'. Precisely the reason she finds a mention. Given the power to change anything, i believe i will leave her unchanged. Bharti, I love you ten.

Uncle ji( my mama ji) : He is not a friend but much much more. He means much more to mean than all the names above put togther. Nothing above him. NO ONE above him. I Love him n Hazaar.

People who don't find mention, don't deserve it. Kidding yaar. Just that i thought about mentioning a few that rung a bell in mind now. Just wait for the day your name starts ringging.

I am also sure that if i go by bell ringing thing, few names will find place in every post. Ted, Bharti, Vinit...

i wanna cry but i won't

its not a post.. its what i am feeling now. I feel something in my heart. a little pain. I know why i feel it. Have met a lot of people. I know how it feels to have no one to guide and no to yell on you. But i am not feeling that because of this reason. Because i can't say it to anyone neither can i put it in writing. Its a secret thats been with me long time. Its killing me. Not a day goes by when i don't think about it but but but... i can't do anything about it. You know why? Because i am doing a business thats why?

I know that i -----------(contains spaces also)

its like all my energy has been drained out of my body. I feel no strength.

I am a bad person. I used to think that i am one guy whose got great friends. I mean to say that i am great guy with whom other can be friend with. But i am not a great friend. I know it. Ted is far better than me. Vinit is. So many others are. Why not me.

For long i wanted to pen my thoughts. I need to tell it someone. It hard keeping it all with my self. I know what love is. I mean i understand what pure/true love is. I also know that mine is not pure/true love. But believe me when i say that its deep. May not be pure but it is deep. And i don't wanna come out to the pure side of love. I am no saint who can love all. My love is selfish. I am an average person.

Been really long before i suceed. And then i will tell her but then it might be too late.

Pata hai.. why do i call myself not a good person. I will tell you. Because i am not happy that my dad and my family love me soooooo very much. my uncle who is not in good health travels 100 kms on bus to see me. because he loves me soooo much. I am here. Just doing nothing, Talking about a crush or love whatever it is. I am doomed.

Do you know when i was in 8th std. i got 13/100 in biology exam.

whatelse....

i know that i will achieve all what i have decided to do. but i really don't know how it would feel being there all alone. i don't believe that i will be all alone there. if not she, someone else. But. I mind is playing games with me.

i don't know how will my life change change.. wheather it will cahnge at all if she says yes. God knows. There . I also know that life is an illusion. It will end. Death is a reality which will finally come. But again i am just another normal guy. Knowing the truth i am doing ntohing. You know... at several ocassions i think of things i will do if i come to know that earth is goin to end tomorrow. I will call ted. I will talk to vinit. and i will talk to ....... But i won't tell her even then about it. Because she will feel bad in case she will ahve to say no to me.


And then i will feel much more miserable. yes now i got the word. I am feeling miserable.


Didn't i say i am a bad person. i just proved it. see i did not mention that i would talk to my mum, dad and uncle and brothers and my nephew and niece. Thus proved.


i still won't cry because bad boys don't cry. they make others cry. bye.

i bet no one will reach this post till the end. just to see who does... can you make a guess of the fill in the blank that i left empty. try it alteast. if you are not able to think comment saying rani mukherjee. but that doesn't meet the dots.. does it. no it doesn't.

anyways i am screwed. bye. again bbye.